Mother and Child in sunset

Sometimes I Think of Leaving A Note for My Husband In Case I Die

Sometimes, probably like many mothers, I think of leaving a note for my husband, in case I die.

Bringing up two daughters, I want him to remember to do the little things, that might matter.

Things like allowing them to lock the bathroom door, when they crave a small piece of privacy.

To make sure tampons are on the grocery list more often than they’re needed.

I want to remind him that in a few years, hormones will run amok, and they’ll love him to bits, but not show it on most days.

That the dad jokes that has them in stitches now won’t cut it one day, and he should be nice to the boy they choose for their school formal.

Stupid little things, like that. And then, with those thoughts shoved to the back of my mind and the knowledge that he’d probably do all those things and more, I do nothing about it.

On Wednesday, I thought about starting that list again, just after reading the High Court judgement which showed Gerard Baden-Clay to be a lying, murderous cheat.

Allison Baden-Clay loved her daughters more than anything. In fact, in a case full of lies, her unwavering commitment to her three girls was the one piece of evidence that was never ever questioned, even by her husband.

Gerard Baden-Clay could paint his wife and the mother of his children as desperate and depressed. He could colour the truth in a bid to try to grow sympathy for his argument. He could deny, over and over again, that he murdered Allison and dumped her body.

But even Gerard Baden-Clay couldn’t tarnish Allison’s love and dedication to her children.

Today, with Baden-Clay’s appeal avenues closed off and Allison’s daughters finally allowed to move on with the rest of their lives, they should remember that.

Their mother loved them more than anything. And if she was writing a list, their happiness would head it.

Allison’s good friend Kerry-Anne Walker said on Wednesday that Allison’s legacy was “her three beautiful girls”.

It should be on all our wish lists that those three girls live a life blessed with good health and happiness, enveloped by anonymity, where they reach the stars in everything they try.

And when life gets tough, that star that shines more brightly than the rest, will be their protector, their light, and their inspiration.

Just as she always was.

Photograph of Madonna King

Madonna King is a leading journalist and commentator. An award-winning presenter of 612 ABC Brisbane, she has authored 12 books and now works across radio, television and online.

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